I just realized that I have to start all over again. GOD is LOVE and who does not love is still in death.But I want to LIVE! And I want to learn to love!
Many times especially with my family and my 7 kids (probably daily 1 to 10 times) there are situations when I do not react in LOVE. And that is a shame for the Name of JESUS. And a shame for someone who was called a pastor!
And it is heartbreaking for me, because I do so deeply desire to be more like HIM! More like JESUS.
I want HIS Presence – HIs LOVE and MERCY! To flow to me – and through me and out of me.
So i realize: I have to start all over again. My focus was wrong. Too distracted. Too many goals in life, too many plans in my ministry, in my everything. I want to reduce! I want one goal and one passion only: BECOMING LOVE!
Beacause this is what heaven is looking for! That makes the angels and the Father so happy! And it hurts them so much, when I shout at my kids and talk negative words to them. (Like yesterday, when I said to one of my sons „you full-time-idiot“ …that is so bad:-(
I have to seek HIS FACE – HIS WAYS and HIS HEART (of doing things and being kind and merciful to the mistakes of others)
I need to change!
I need more of JESUS!